I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways.

Think of all that hard work our founding fathers put in - the revolutionizing, the three-fifths compromising, having to write the entire Constitution with a quill - and yet they neglected to include the right to vote.

As the great philosopher George Santayana would have said, 'those who cannot remember the past . . . should simply read Jan Van Meter's Tippecanoe and Tyler Too.' Van Meter's greatest hits collection of slogans is the catchiest ever retelling of American history. It's like the greatest minds of Madison Avenue sat down to write a history book. They don't make sound bites like they used to!

Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press.

Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America's electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it's not that simple.