Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy.

I mean, you're gonna be left behind if you don't appreciate the genius that is Meredith Vieira.

I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.

I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar.

As the great philosopher George Santayana would have said, 'those who cannot remember the past . . . should simply read Jan Van Meter's Tippecanoe and Tyler Too.' Van Meter's greatest hits collection of slogans is the catchiest ever retelling of American history. It's like the greatest minds of Madison Avenue sat down to write a history book. They don't make sound bites like they used to!

I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways.

Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America's electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it's not that simple.