Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.