Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'

James Franco, acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing - is there anything you can do?

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.