If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?
Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.
Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.
Make a sex tape, upload it, get on a reality show, release a perfume, retire. That's the new American dream.
I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.