If you are an adult, you are responsible for your life and well-being. No one owes you the fulfillment of your needs or wants; no one is here on earth to serve you. If you respect the principle of self-ownership, you understand that no one else owns you and that you do not own anyone else. Only on this understanding can there be peace on earth and good will among human beings.
Nathaniel BrandenRomantic love can be terrifying. We experience another human being as enormously important to us. So there is surrender -not a surrender to the other person so much as to our feeling for the other person. What is the obstacle? The possibility of loss.
Nathaniel BrandenIf you have high self-esteem, you might still know times of emotional suffering, but less often and with faster recovery-your resilience is greater.
Nathaniel BrandenIf you are terrified of making mistakes, you will be reluctant to acknowledge them when you do make them-and therefore you will not correct them.
Nathaniel BrandenThe more you surrender to the fear of someone's disapproval, the more you lose face in your own eyes, and the more desperate you become for someone's approval. Within you is a void that should have been filled by self-esteem. When you attempt to fill it with the approval of others instead, the void grows deeper and the hunger for acceptance and approval grows stronger. The only solution is to summon the courage to honor your own judgment, frightening though that may be in the beginning.
Nathaniel Branden