Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night to the theatre and know so little about it.

I don't much care for Hollywood, I'd rather have a nice cup of cocoa.

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like.

I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.

It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.

I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up.