Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.

It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated.

It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.