Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like.

It's no use to go and take courses in playwriting any more than it's much use taking courses in acting. Better play to a bad matinée in Hull, it will teach you much more than a year of careful instruction.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

I can take any amount of criticism, as long as it is unqualified praise.

Passion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep; a camel when it's mating never sobs itself to sleep.

There's always something fishy about the French.