You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

Wit is like caviar - it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade.

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.

Passion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep; a camel when it's mating never sobs itself to sleep.

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.

I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.