You always ought to have tom cats arranged, you know - it makes 'em more companionable.
Bed is the perfect climate.
Everybody worships me, it's nauseating.
Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.
It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.
In the first act, you get the audience's attention - once you have it, they will repay you in the second. Play through the laughs if you have to. It will only make the audience believe there are so many of them that they missed a few.