How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.

There are bad times just around the corner, There are dark clouds travelling through the sky, And it's no good whining, About a silver lining, For we know from experience they won't roll by...

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I will accept anything in the theatre . . . provided it amuses or moves me. But if it does neither, I want to go home.

I'm an enormously talented man, and there's no use pretending that I'm not.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself.