My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.

Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.

It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!

I'm a mischievous drunk.

Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.