You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody lifted a finger. That's when I realised that violence wasn't funny. At all.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.