All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.

It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!

There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.