In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying.

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about how I'd need to earn a living somehow, but he's been totally behind me, forking out money he didn't really have to send me to university. Every other comedian I've met had to fight their parents to be allowed to do this but mine have been brilliant.