Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.