You can't love your team without hating another team.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology.

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.