You can't love your team without hating another team.

You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

I don't have any ambition.

When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.