If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.