Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I was there, and I never been to one of them, and I like a parade. I always like a parade. So, I go there, and it turns out, it's just a bunch of gay guys.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.

The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.