Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity; but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.

Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!