In love, we are best pleased when we please others.

Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.

I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.