In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.

Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity; but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

You can't love your team without hating another team.

[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.