In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.

You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?

The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.