In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?

A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.