In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

If you watch that show and you didn't know it was called Seinfeld, you'd think it was called 'The George Costanza Show'.

Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.

Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.