They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.

I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.