The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.