I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.