I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some; others of a moderate share that they have a great deal; but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.