I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.