I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

In love, we are best pleased when we please others.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.