Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.

Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!

All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.

The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.

The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy.