I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.