I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.

Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.