I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

I don't know anything about politics. I wouldn't put too much into my prediction on politics.

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

I guess [Richard] Pryor was that good. I never saw him in a theater, but I imagine he was that good, because he was such a phenomenal actor.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.