Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.