The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.