I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.