I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.