Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.