Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.

This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.

Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.