Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.