I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.

The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.