I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.