Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile.

We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.