Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.

I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.