Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.

I guess [Richard] Pryor was that good. I never saw him in a theater, but I imagine he was that good, because he was such a phenomenal actor.

There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, "Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up." And then I'm like, "There's more work in the States."

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.

Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.