Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.
I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.