It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.

You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?

Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.

I don't have any ambition.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.