All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.

If you watch that show and you didn't know it was called Seinfeld, you'd think it was called 'The George Costanza Show'.

I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy.