Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.

I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.

[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].

Few people love with the violence they hate.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.