The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

We advise others better than ourselves.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.