The soul is never perfectly secure from the influence of passion; the occasional tranquility she seems to enjoy, is rather relaxation than imperturbable triumph.

The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.

I have a little bit of an out-of-body experience where I enjoy the scenario, and I really do like seeing a crowd turn into a mob, and I do nothing to stop it. People can become really dangerous.

I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.

I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.

If you watch that show and you didn't know it was called Seinfeld, you'd think it was called 'The George Costanza Show'.

If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.