Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.

If you cannot patiently bear correction, endeavor to avoid fault.

After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.