Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.

In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.