Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.