We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.