A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

You can't love your team without hating another team.

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.