I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.

This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.

Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.