I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.

A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.