I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.

[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.