I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonaldAfter months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonaldI completely understand why a businessman would fire me from 'Saturday Night Live'. Because he was seeing Jay Leno kill 10 minutes a night, doing his monologue with wall-to-wall laughs and applause, then I do 10 minutes a week to, sometimes, breathtaking silence. He's just listening for the laughs.
Norm MacDonaldI'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald