I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy.

In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.