I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.

We advise others better than ourselves.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.