Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.